By Akira Kagami
TWG Writer

Welcome one and all to the 14th “Balistik Blabber”! I’m your host Akira Kagami, bringing back wonderful and sometimes awful memories of ex-WWE stars into the spotlight! We’ve gone through quite a variety over the past 2 months and now we’ve hit Number Eleven! Just last week, I got a request to do a feature on “The Ultimate Jobber”… THE BROOKLYN BRAWLER!... but after a quick research, I found out he is still under employment of the World Wrestling Entertainment company and therefore, disqualifies him for our segment here… very sorry about that and I also loved the idea of writing about him but who knows what the future holds? On with the show for now~

Over centuries, wrestling has opened up to a variety of people starting with the bare nekkid version played by Greek athletes to today’s mash up of men, women, even children participating in the toss up that is professional wrestling. Even real life and/or gimmick homosexuals have broken into the industry without so much a drop of sweat and even bring little new things into it. Then on the year of 2002 we saw something… fresh, I think. To all you TWG/EWG fans, I bring you:



THE ONE AND ONLY ONE-LEGGED WRESTLER IN OUR GENERATION…
ZACH GOWEN


Black is slimming~


Now before you jump on me with elbow drops and saying stuff like “meh, I’ve seen a wrestler with NO legs on Ripley’s… what’s the big deal?”, pause for a minute and realize that is an entirely different matter. For now, let’s calmly stick to the itinerary shall we?

If professional wrestlers were judged by the amount of sheer determination they have this would most certainly take the cake for quite awhile! Born with cancer, a young Zachary Gowen lost his left leg at the tender age of 8. Had doctors not done so, he would never have survived the ravaging disease… Being a survivor, Zach eventually grew up with aspirations of becoming a professional wrestler and make waves in the business. In 2002 he began training for his goal at the so-called “House of Truth” gym with “Truth Martini” and Brian “The Playboy” Shotwell. Just to note, the gym was frequented by the likes of TNA talents Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin. That same year, not long after the training began, Gowen made his debut on March 16 in the business under the ring-name “Tenacious Z” (a play on a certain bands name) and was handed his first defeat at the hands of his own trainer “Truth Martini”. Even later that year (August 17) he got his first title: the IWR Tag Team Championship with partner Kamikaze! He had barely started and already the waves have started but this was only the beginning! The following year (2003 if you didn’t follow), he was recruited to his first ever national promotion: Total Nonstop Action! For a few months he wrestled for TNA to an amazed crowd bewildered by his physique and his aerial capability in the ring! He could pull off nearly every moonsault variant and even his own modified version of the figure four leg lock! Can you even imagine a figure four leg lock with just one leg? One of the highlights of his time there would be a victory over BG James aka “Road Dogg” twice; first in singles competition and again in a 6-man tag match. He certainly raised a lot of eyebrows because soon enough, the World Wrestling Entertainment was offering him a developmental contract!

Gowen made his WWE debut on Smackdown! on May 15, 2003 RVD style~ wait, not really in the same way but, anyway it went like this: he was a “planted fan” as in, a “fake” fan in the audience cheering for who else but the luchador version of the Hulkster, “Mr. America”! Gowen was singled out by Mr. America and given the flag of the US of A. Later on, we see “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and Sean O’Haire giving Mr. America a big beat down until Gowen tries to make the save ending with Piper pulling off his prosthetic leg and causing OMGs to ring across the stadium and TV audiences worldwide (including yours truly)! This angle leads to Gowen’s first pay-per-view appearance teaming up with Mr. America against Piper, O’Haire and McMahon to a winning effort! Of course, once you mess with Vince McMahon this leads to countless skits with him and Gowen wasn’t spared a detail: getting “arrested” to cost Mr. America a match, getting beat by Vince in an arm wrestling challenge, entranced and made a fool of by Sable and almost becoming a member of Vince’s “Kiss My Ass” Club… definitely a stress booster!

Gowen’s participation in the WWE would be “put on paper” when he and Stephanie “Face” McMahon beat The Big “Heel” Show with the UNISAULT (top-rope, one-legged moonsault) to earn a contract! Of course they had a little help from 2 other WWE stars who I sorely miss: Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar! To clarify, they too were both “face” at this time, until much later when Brock becomes eeevil and started going ape on the diminutive Gowen, but not before McMahon picked up another victory over him at his second PPV appearance in “Vengeance”. The bullying of Lesnar included the “breaking” of Zach’s good leg with a brutal F-5 to the corner post and being pushed down a flight of stairs on his wheelchair! The string of attacks would give Gowen a month’s break before his hyped return to settle a feud with then-heel (what the heck, almost everything was “in reverse” then I guess…) Matt Hardy, who had been interfering in Zach’s matches against Shannon Moore and John Cena on separate occasions prior to the Lesnar assault. They faced off at that year’s “No Mercy” PPV with Gowen finishing the match with, what else? The Unisault! Gowen’s last match with the company was against another deeply missed talent, “The Japanese Buzzsaw” Tajiri in which he lost and received a brutal parting gift: a beat down from cronies Jimmy Yang (pre-redneck cowboy) and Sakoda! Zachary Gowen was released from his contract on February of 2004 reportedly due to his “attitude problem”. I guess having great determination doesn’t necessarily mean you have great humility…



THE UNISAULT!


I believe you’re all familiar with the formula by now right? [Training-->Debut-->WWE-->???], wherein “???” is the independent circuit the ex-WWE talent goes to after getting booted off~ In Gowen’s case it was A LOT! All through 2004 to the present he has gone all over the country non-stop: Border City, All American, NWA Wisconsin, Cleveland All Pro, IWA East Coast and the infamous Juggalo Championship Wrestling run by the famous rap duo of Insane Clown Posse! JCW is another independent wrestling company following in the footsteps of the true Extreme Championship Wrestling with hardcore matches combined with unique wrestler gimmicks. Gowen wrestled in the promotion’s internet wrestling show called “SlamTV!” under his own name and was something like a heel and said he didn’t like the company (in-character only or “kayfabe”). Eventually the fans started to like him for his talent, and he reciprocated the love turning him to face. He also formed a tag team called the “Pimp and Gimp” connection with Craig “Human Tornado” Williams. I won’t dive further as to why they chose that name so as to give you some things to look up yourself, but you can clearly see it’s a play on “Rock and Sock”, maybe a tribute of sorts? He has also wrestled for Ring of Honor in 2006 and again this year among other achievements.

For all his efforts, he has added 3 more belts to his career: the “CAPW Junior Heavyweight” title defeating Johnny Gargaro, the “AAW Tag Team” titles with Krotch defeating his old mentor Truth Martini and N8 Mattson and most recently, the Blue Water Championship Wrestling (BWCW) HEAVYWEIGHT title after defeating Xavier Justice just this year! Good gravy, can any of you imagine if the guy had both his legs?!



With gold!


While still only 25 years old, this dude has definitely put his mark on the world of professional wrestling. He can quit now for all he cares because he already has the distinction of being the only 1-legged professional wrestler but that’s just not enough for him! He truly wants to compete and give a show and we definitely have to give him props for that! He still has a slight attitude problem but maybe he’ll develop his professionalism as he matures. I for one hope for the best and maybe we’ll see him on national television again sometime. Let’s all give a round of applause for him: ZACHARY GOWEN!



Whazzaaap?!<!

That's all she wrote for this week! See you all on the next Balistik Blabber and you better be prepared for something AWESOME! This is Akira Kagami signing off and belated congratulations to the birth of the “Evolution of Wrestling Game”